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Writer's pictureNicole Langman

Not in Pursuit of Happiness


I used to be. I used to think happiness was a thing worth fighting for.


I used to believe happiness was the ultimate goal.


Not anymore.


While happiness is lovely and I’m certainly not going to snub my nose at it - I don’t think it’s all it’s cracked up to be.


Growth. That’s what I want.


I’ve found in my life the most fertile soil for growth is not in the fields of happiness.


Growth seems to take root in the valley. It’s in the deep quicksand of pain - through the battle scars and war wounds of life - that’s where we find growth.


Happiness is situational. It’s flighty and temporary.


Growth doesn’t walk out the door when things go sideways. Or when things are hard.


It’s not connected to an ebb and flow of emotion.


Happiness doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t make me stronger, more empathic, or kinder.


While it’s pleasant and easy, it doesn’t build me.


And it doesn’t bring me closer to Jesus.


The valley offers a choice - it can drop us deeper into our pain or it can drive us to our knees.


And when I let it drive me to my knees, I find the True Source of comfort and healing.


And what I really want is to be a better version of myself every day. A version of myself that is in line with who He has called me to be.


I want to know the heart of the One Who made me. I want to be closer to Him.


So, I tip my hat to the pain of the valley because that’s the place I see myself grow.


It’s the place I find my Heavenly Father rushing towards me. And while the growing pains are sore, and heartache is raw, it’s in these valleys I stretch my faith muscles, lean hard on the One Who will never leave me, and draw strength from Him.


And when I am living in that sweet spot, the place He has called me to - my cup overflows with joy.


And joy in the valley - well, it’s this incredible plot twist only Jesus can bring.


Wishing you growth and joy.


~ N


Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4



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